Salt - a short story

She is going to die here. Don’t you see? DON’T YOU SEE? You are blind. I can’t breathe. Can you feel it? Can you taste it? I can. Salt. I can’t breathe. No air. Just salt and water. Metal and blood. My eyes burn. It’s so cold. Feeling's gone. So numb. I can see it all. Can you see it? Blind. That’s what at you are! That’s what you are.

It wasn’t my fault. I was just leaving and he wanted more. No. Not more--all of it. It wasn’t my fault. Its not my fault I’m stuck here like this, hiding inside myself. She hides in me. Its not my fault. Do you believe me? Maybe it would have been different. Can we kill him? Lets pick him apart limb from limb, feed them to him. I think we can. No, I don’t think we can, I know we can. Will you help me? Please help me. This will help. Closure. Please help me. Nobody can get me. Nobody can see me or hear me. No body knows where I am. I’m alone with the fishes. Alone with the monsters. These monsters aren’t nearly as scary as the ones I’m away from.

Damaged goods. It’s this fucking disease! He gave me this disease. He graced me with this disease that will never leave. I could get help, but I’m stuck under water. Maybe I should introduce you to him. You can see for yourself in his swagger. You can witness how one person could disease another and simply go on living. No guilt. No regret. No punishment. Nothing. For me? What do I have the pleaseure of living with? There is no land of dreams for me to run away to, no deep slumber. There is no medicine to rid it of my body, no weapon to extinguish it. There will never come a time when i can chop off its head and watch it squirm around, thrashing aimlessly screeching in pain. It's a disease. A disease he gave me and got away with. A disease that will only die when i do. I’m underwater and I am diseased. Maybe the fish can help me. Maybe the monsters can help me.

I’m suffocating. The poison's ever continuous journey slows to the rate of my barely beating heart. Painful. It’s no big deal. It’s un-just is all. It’s hard to live knowing that I could be responsible for so many diseased. Guilty. I was scared! It’s not my fault. I was ignorant and innocent and scared. When the poison starts it's course there is no stopping it. It’s never stopped. Stealing my breath, inhabiting my body, pumping out my heart, coursing through my veins. It enters and exits every cell, every fiber of my being, whispers a soft reminder. My brain was like a sponge, thirstily sucking up every drip-drop, oblivious. My brain absorbed every word. Every sight. If it wasn’t so spongy then maybe there could have been some hope for this waste of a life. Maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't have been tricked so easily. If I wasn’t so scared. If I wasn’t so young. If my brain just wasn’t so damn spongy! Now it’s a rock. Set in stone. Guilt. That distinct taste of poison. I've tried everything to get that awful taste off my tongue. Gum, peppermint, peanut butter.. not even the alcohol could burn it off. A mouthful of blood helped get me to sleep, kill the demons inside for a short while. The tear of flesh, remnants clinging to the jagged edge, the immediate rush of boiling liquid oozing out from inside of me. The birth of addiction.

Do you think someone will find me before it’s too late? The truth is, i feel much cooler now that i've isolated myself from you fucking people. I like it down here, floating. It’s nice, just too much time to think. Time to remember. Isolated. Out of reach of the world and it's infinite triggers. Suffocating. It was hard to breathe then too. No one can touch me. I’m simply isolated from anything and everything. I have time to think about what it was like before my innocence was torn from me, an untouched photo album in my mind.

Learn alot Today

Learn how to be me.
Without the whole fantasy gimmicks
Without the jokes
Love community service
Its fun
I went to the Chaplin home today
It was very fun
Did something that was for a good cause
That why I was tired
But tomorrow is going to be the same thing
Another Stress buster event
I'm so happy this is a tour I love this lifestyle
THe life style I wanted
Unwreckless one that only I can handle
If we where to reverse the roles you would be stuck
Stuck in the same mess you put yourself
I love my life style and noone can live it
But Me, Myself and I
Yes I did refer myself in 3rd person
I think its just me being cool
I dont act cool because it all natural
Like hitting a baseball with a baseball bat
Or even scoring a jumpshot
Or even just walking and posing like a model


Love me or Hate me
Hate my style
Hate my words
But you cant because I'm doing my thing
You are just idolizing me
Cocky no
Confident Yes
True words from a true person
CHUCK DADDY

Untitled- Timy Plurrazzelo

Its taken 17 years,
just to piece together peace
i've endured too many arguments
i've conquered a thousand demons through
my speach, and the hardest sound to filter out
is the sound of your voice torn, between the loving
voice of sanity and the fearful hymn of scorn.
The prime perspective in your partial hate,
is nothing to be looked upon. The echoes in your
ears have produced puddles in the driest of storms.
The drought of my feelings has left me crippled in this
aging life, the trite conditions fall upon my soul each time
i meet those eyes. It boils down to situations, past and present
hate. I try to build you up with pride, but that forms to nothing but
mistakes. And i'll apologize to you, i sware on everything i know.
I try to keep myself inline, but fall out too quickly from the twist
and turns. I wish to thank you sometime soon, for every line you
have inspired, though you must hate this loving game, we play till
death for it is what we will ever know.

Brian Farkas's Driveway

I haven't drawn since I stopped smoking, so yesterday I drew, and here's my first non-high drawing in so long.

Wow how popular corrupts people

Being popular shouldn't matter in this school
I rather be really nice
Than be popular
People are going to be themselves
Either selfish or not
I rather build a network
Than just not
People dont know you until you talk to them
Even if so there always going to convince you
Really people are always going to be about themselves
Others are going to network with other people
Well I rather make sure that I dont make fun of people
They could be your CEO in the future
That would be funny if I was someones CEO in SJU
That would suck
I making sure that doesnt happen